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Fear of Confrontation
Day 23, Monday 9th April 2018
Confrontation is terrifying. The idea of disagreement, of my thoughts meeting with disapproval and potentially being rejected by the other party seems awful. This fear has waged a terror campaign over me for years, causing me to abandon myself and my opinions at critical times and I’m determined to break through this.
Conflict is healthy, people naturally disagree and hold opposing views, even those we love and care for most dearly in life may sometimes hold views that sit uncomfortably with our own. Being able to express those opposing views to each other without one person storming out of the room and slamming the door is a very healthy behaviour. Respectfully hearing and observing another’s thoughts, then expressing an opposing position and talking about the differences between those positions is an emotionally mature interaction.
However, opinions that are unable to sit together, leading to conflict, feels risky, dangerous, even life threatening. It seems incomprehensible that it’s possible to hold conflicting views in a close space with another person. Everyone needs to agree or chaos will unfold, goes the story.
Unfortunately, fear of conflict can lead to anger. Here’s the process — somebody expresses an opposing opinion, for instance, my neighbour suggests in a casual…
