Lovely piece.

‘I’ve not met the right person’ is a modern fallacy, as a reason for being single it is misguided and you have carefully highlighted that. We meet ‘the right people’ all the time, they walk into our lives, spreading love and light, they are the oasis that you mention.

We remain single, or littered by failed relationships because WE are not the right people. This isn’t meant with blame, judgement or shame, it’s to illustrate the fact that if a pattern emerges in our love lives, there is probably a reason why. Blaming the partners, or lack of partners, for these failures would be naive. Yet, having the courage and foresight to identify, understand and fix any damaging behaviours in our own lives is a big undertaking, one that many would rather avoid.

If happiness isn’t in your life, then you need to work for it, nobody will come along and put it there for you. If they do, it won’t last, because happiness comes from inside you, like love, you have to give it out before you can receive it.

The hardest part of a strong relationship is allowing each other to remain as individuals. This demonstrates the fine line between giving unconditional love in a relationship and the suffocating effect of co-dependently relying on them for happiness. Giving love without expectation of the other person’s response is the vital glue holding romance together.