Your Unbearable Opinion

Day 8, Sunday 25th March 2018

My fingers tap the keyboard as the task of writing today’s Medium piece commands my attention. What to write about? Every topic that goes through my head is followed very quickly by an assumption about what you want to hear. Every theme falls immediately onto a backdrop of other people’s opinions and they rule me, all too often.

A creeping feeling stirs within me, an ex-girlfriend described it as the feeling of impending doom, which was always highly magnified after a heavy weekend. It feels like shame-fuelled anxiety, that there is an issue on the horizon which requires some form of action whilst rupturing the faith I have in my own opinons, especially when the light of other people’s scrutiny is shone upon them.

There’s been a lot written about the difference between bloggers’ online and offline personas, how personalities differ between these two spheres of existence. Well, I’m different between these two worlds, not intentionally, but becuase of wiring that’s hard to break. I can be bold, opinionated and even provocative in my writing, because it provides an outlet of unchallenged expression where nobody will come and cut me down mid-sentence. In real life, that opinion feels like the ethereal wave of linen curtains in a gentle summer breeze, liable to stop or be pushed aside at any moment.