You’re an Idiot, Just Like Everyone Else

Day 6, Friday 23rd March 2018

You’re all idiots. I’ve said it before and I stand by it. A clown first said this to me, “You’re all idiots. Everyone is an utter idiot, merely pretending to hold it together for the benefit of the rest of society”. Her lesson was to embrace our inner idiot, be vulnerable and stop pretending we know what we’re doing, because it’s exhausting.

Today I have a photoshoot, which makes me slightly nervous. My past careers have all involved work which is quantifiable in a physical way, such as being a waiter, it’s very easy to determine if the job is being completed. As long as orders are being taken and food is arriving at the table, then the job is a success. Other work has been even more physically accountable, such as producing large format graphics. If a client needs ten copies of each design, they must be printed, mounted, trimmed and collated. No form of creative input is required.

Conversely, photoshoots are like staring into the abyss of creative exploration. No matter how many I do, a sense of floating doubt envelops me. Despite the knowledge that I am capable and my portfolio speaks for itself, or even with the reassurance that the client has worked with me before, I still feel nervous and very alone.

Taking photos for a living requires one physical output, a photograph. However, a photo can range from an unusable blur to high art. The responsibility for bridging the gap between that dichotomy falls squarely upon…